Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Chapter 9: Peanut Butter
I have a new favorite food. It is awesome. I'll eat it on anything and with anything in it. Its peanut butter! Almond butter is OK, but peanut butter is AMAZING. I especially like Jif brand. Usually I only get to clean off a spoon after the Yuppies have had their fill. If I'm lucky, sometimes I get a whole spoonful. But one day, I got the whole jar! I didn't even have to steal it; the Yuppies handed it to me. I DESTROYED it. It was the greatest day of my life. I had so much PB that my lips were glued shut. I was licking it off my face for hours. Once the jar was licked clean, I started destroying the jar itself. The wrapper wasn't anything special, but the plastic made for a great chew toy. I've got to find out where they keep that stuff.
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Dear Latka,
ReplyDeleteI find it abhorrent that your lips were not sealed shut forever. Would that I had the power to make you eat glue.
Choosy Cats Choose Death,
Hamlet
Now now Hamlet, let's think this through. Latka will do anything for Jiff, so.... Also, glue not the answer. Yuppies would never allow that. I could see you having endless fun exploiting this weakness of Latka, and making it so she would be oblivious to your evil schemes and enjoy every minute of it! Life could be wonderful again!
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