Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Chapter 8: Bed
The urge inside me to Destroy is sometimes so strong that I cannot help myself and end up destroying the things I love. My bed is where I feel safe and comfortable. After a long day of destroying, I like nothing more than relaxing in my bed. However, the bed is full of fluffy stuff and fluffy stuff is more fun when its everywhere. Every night I am torn between sleeping in my bed and Destroying it. Some nights the destructiveness overtakes the sleepiness and I wake up surrounded by fluff. If I have my numbers correct, I believe that I have destroyed 4 beds so far. The yuppies are starting to become annoyed though. Lately they have been giving me towels to sleep on instead of beds. The towels aren't as soft and there is no fluff to rip out, but I do enjoy rearranging them every time I want to take a nap.
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Dear Latka,
ReplyDeleteYou are a disgrace. Beloved Human #1 and her dreadful companion bought you not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different beds, and you have done nothing but make a mockery of their generosity. I have to fight each day for access to the closet, where, if I'm lucky, I'll get to nap on a stray pile of dirty laundry before the odious human that is not my Beloved One kicks me out.
I hope you get relegated to the kitchen floor, you unholy monster.
-Hamlet