Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Chapter 13: The Snake
I was at the park the other day hanging out with my pals when one of them said "I've been so bored with life lately." We all knew how he was feeling because every dog has those moments of depression. Another of my friends chimed in with the advice of getting a hobby. I thought to myself, I could use a hobby too (not exactly knowing what hobbies are) and asked what are some examples of good hobbies. She said her favorite hobby was to chew on shoes, but she had heard of other dogs whose hobbies included eating furniture, barking out the window, chasing squirrels, and rummaging through the garbage. Those all sounded like different types of destruction to me. Since destroying is my job, I needed to find another hobby. I thought about it long and hard and then one day while in the process of destroying my snake, I realized that I really enjoyed squeaking. Eureka! My hobby could be making music. I've been practicing on my snake (which I have held off on destroying since it has the best squeakers). What do you think?
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Dear Latka,
ReplyDeleteYou are about as graceful as a bull in a china shop. Your "music" sounds like the dying screech of an unspayed cat in heat. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that Beloved Human #1 and her insipid companion prefer soothing silence. Learn to move like a ninja, you clumsy oaf.
Shh,
Hamlet
Wow - I'm impressed! I've heard songs on the radio that weren't as good. You clearly had a tune going on there, maybe add a base? Wait ... could be a bonding opportunity for you and Hamlet. He would carry the tune and you would take off with the melody. I can see it now, in no time you would be doing Carnegie Hall!
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