Chapter 19: The Alligator

Is it an alligator or a crocodile? I'm not sure.  Really, I don't care.  All I know is I destroyed it.  I understand that alligators are prized for their leather.  So I made an effort to preserve as much as the hide as I could.  That's right, I wanted to wear my alligator.  I figured there would be nothing more stylish than an alligator mask.  And it worked.  I was able to rip a hole in the alligator's side big enough for me to fit my muzzle into. Who can say I'm not a pretty girl with my alligator mask?

 

 

 

 

Chapter 18: The Dinosour

One day.  That is all I've had the dinosaur for.  Just one day.  Yet its dead.  I Destroyed it.  Really, I was surprised.  Aren't dinosaurs supposed to be ferocious killers.  Their name does mean terrible lizard.  Well this beast was no match for me.  I quickly ripped two holes in its back and then proceeded to tear our its innards.  It didn't last long and didn't put up much of a fight.  There were guts everywhere.  I guess it is no surprise that they all extinct.

  

  

Chapter 17: Bear

Bear was like no other conquest I have had to date.  There was something special about Bear, something different.  Yes, Bear had stuffing and squeaked, but there was something more.  From the moment I sunk my teeth into Bear's furry hide, I could feel the uniqueness of Bear's insides.  It took time and effort but I discovered what made Bear amazing.  Bear's bones were made of ROPE! Could there be anything better? A toy to destroy and a rope in one!  I was in heaven.  Total bliss.  At first I tried to hide Bear so nobody else could get to him, but I couldn't contain myself.  I was so excited by Bear and paid so much attention to him that I ended up Destroying him.  Oh how I miss Bear.

   

Chapter 16: The Lobster

They said it couldn't be done.  They said it was indestructible.  They said it was Latka The Destroyer-proof.  They were wrong.  It might have been hard and it might have taken a while, but I did the impossible.  I destroyed the Lobster.  Like the lobsters of the wild, my Lobster was supposed to have an impenetrable exoskeleton.  Well, not only did I break through the shell (without crackers or a hammer), but I also tore out its golden and delicious tamalley.  The legs and tentacles were the easy part.  Getting through the shell took the tenacity and concentration I have developed over my nearly year of existence  as a destroyer.  What's next?  Nothing can stop my path of destruction.  

Chapter 15: The Zebra (a story)

Latka the Destroyer prowled the river banks of the urban jungle known a Georgetown.  She set her sights on as large prey animal well over twice her size.  She stalked the pray for days on end. Waiting. Watching. Playing mind games with the beast.  Latka the Destroyer lulled the Zebra into a false sense of security.  While the Zebra drank from the river Potomac,  Latka the Destroyer devised a devilish plan to ensnare the creature.  Finally, after weeks of planning, on the eve of a cool night at the beginning of Fall, Latka the Destroyer attacked! Bringing the painted horse down in one strike.  She began the assault on the Zebra by tearing at its head; ripping its brain and heart out in a matter of moments.  From there, she worked through the rest of the kill, until all that was left was the tip of the Zebra's tail.

Chapter 14: Post Bath

As I have mentioned previously, I HATE baths.  They are terrible.  The only thing worse than having to stand there wet and humiliated while the Yuppies lather soap all over me and then rinse is off is their attempt to dry me after the bath.  The make me stand there as they rub me all over with a towel when all I want to do is get out of the tub from hell.  And they don't even do a good job!  By the time they are done, I am just as wet as when they started.  What is the point?  Then I have to go and get the rest of the water off.  I make sure the Yuppies know my displeasure by shaking as much water off me and onto them as I can.  Then to finish the job I rub myself all over the carpet.

Chapter 13: The Snake

I was at the park the other day hanging out with my pals when one of them said "I've been so bored with life lately."  We all knew how he was feeling because every dog has those moments of depression.  Another of my friends chimed in with the advice of getting a hobby.  I thought to myself, I could use a hobby too (not exactly knowing what hobbies are) and asked what are some examples of good hobbies.  She said her favorite hobby was to chew on shoes, but she had heard of other dogs whose hobbies included eating furniture, barking out the window, chasing squirrels, and rummaging through the garbage.  Those all sounded like different types of destruction to me.  Since destroying is my job, I needed to find another hobby.  I thought about it long and hard and then one day while in the process of destroying my snake, I realized that I really enjoyed squeaking.  Eureka! My hobby could be making music.  I've been practicing on my snake (which I have held off on destroying since it has the best squeakers).  What do you think?